Sneakers are known to cause some of the most debilitating deformities of the foot known to mankind. Most people instinctively want to avoid these problems, but some may need to view the following examples of what will most assuredly happen to a person who wears sneakers.
This gentleman's foot became "squared" in medical parlance after he wore sneakers for only three days. He promptly switched back to black dress shoes.
Mr. Jack Hagerty, whose foot is shown above, was riding a motorcycle when a police officer noticed that Hagerty was exceeding the speed limit as posted on his foot. The speed limit sign developed because he persisted in wearing sneakers for five years, and the officer was able to see the sign because Hagerty was wearing sandals that day. Mr. Hagerty attempted to fight the ticket he received, but the judge ruled in "People vs. Jack Hagerty" that the officer was justified in issuing the ticket under the basic legal principle of lexandare pulmonare, and Hagerty was sentenced to thirty days in jail. He no longer wears sneakers.
In 1995, a patient at Robertson Memorial Hospital in Provo, Utah developed this appendage after wearing sneakers for just one month. Originally, it was flesh-colored and blended better with her foot, but despite her doctor's warning to discontinue wearing sneakers, she stubbornly persisted in the practice, and the shell turned purple. After she was certified mentally unfit to manage her own affairs, her court-appointed guardian purchased a sensible pair of flats for her, and the shell is now only one-fourth its previous size. Doctors expect her to make a full recovery within the next two years.
This is a truly sad example of what can happen to a fanatical wearer of sneakers. This man moved into a cabin in the woods, bringing no footwear apart from ten pairs of sneakers. Because he was all alone, nobody was able to help him in time, and after five years, his foot not only became totally deformed (note both the merging of his original five toes into just two larger ones and the bunion on the larger toe), but the damage began to spread up his leg, as is evident from the above photograph. By the time the FBI raided his cabin as part of a weapons bust, the damage was irreversible, and he is now confined to a wheelchair.
After wearing sneakers for two months, this woman's toes became badly deformed, as the above photograph clearly shows. She quickly switched to pumps and now only her big toe still shows signs of "brush toe."
Finally, this gentleman has worn nothing but sneakers his whole life, and he still refuses to switch, saying, "Sneakers are 'in' and I'll wear them as long as they're trendy and stylish." He somehow manages to get his sneakers on around the appendage shown above. His doctor has stated publicly that the damage is reversible if only the man would stop wearing sneakers, but the patient remains unswayed. He can, however, receive television stations as far as 100 kilometers away, and at night he gets Radio Moscow with no difficulty.
Photographs courtesy of Corel Corporation